Monday, May 16, 2005

pausing the non-stop cavalcade

Retarius you have gone, blog deleted. Damn. I hate it when that happens. You inspired me. I miss you, and I keep reading other people's blogs, and they are missing you too.

If blogging was a library of books, shelves full of objects made of paper with printed words, then we might occasionally lose a book we liked, or throw it out with the trash. I have lent books and not got them back, left books in holiday rooms, lost them on trains, that kind of thing, but it would have to be a rare occasion that I would lose something totally irreplaceable.

I suppose my most precious book is my grandmother's bible, the one made of wood from the mount of olives, the red-letter bible with coloured prints and early photographs of arab Jerusalem. I spilt ink on it once and carefully removed the stain after my mother howled in protest. It's the best restoration I ever did of anything. If I lost that I would be very sad. This is how I feel when a favourite blog just disappears.

It's not like blogs are books - you can just get another copy from the store. It's this interwebnet. We take it for granted, until it just ain't there anymore and blogger says "Not Found". I suppose the artist has the power to destroy the work.

I realised that the internet being the leaky place it is, I still had some of your brilliant writing. I also figured today, someone was going to grab your name, this subdomain of blogspot, eventually, at random, and that I couldn't bear that, so I decided to put what stuff I have of yours here, until you return, should you so decide. I hope this doesn't offend anyone. I speak as a fan.

You once wrote in my comments,

i don't know much, but i *do* know that stuff you just wrote right there...that is not a blog post...that is pure fucking literature. -- Posted by retarius to Blog of Funk at 1/19/2005 01:44:41 PM

Retarius, thanks for that great kindness, and for the many observations and comedy and pathos in your frequently brilliant blog.

I don't know why you pulled the plug, what your life circumstances are, it's a total mystery to me your disappearance from this strange world of writing, but anyway, come back, if you can, and write more, I really enjoy your stuff, and so do many other people. We miss you. I hope you don't mind me keeping what I have of yours around for others to read in your absence.

Finally please forgive my sentimentality and this tribute, I just got a fit of the blues, and I thought about something you wrote which changed me.

Retarius - hic et ubique - say something dammit!



PS: It will take me a few days to post what I have.


Blogger Jay said...

Very noble of you Deek.

9:49 AM  
Blogger Miss Wired said...

See what a badass mofo you are Retarius? The only blogger I know that has a tribute blog. Geez. I bet you're loving it too. ;)

8:37 PM  
Blogger Clayton said...

hard core

9:24 PM  
Blogger Indeterminacy said...

Thank you Deek Deekster, whereever and whoever you are. I have most of Retarius' archive going back to September 2005, but excluding the first couple of weeks in April. If you wish to repost it and don't have it, I can send you a zip file. Also, the original haloscan comment links still work.

2:06 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

What a nice thing to do...:)

I do miss him.

5:44 AM  
Blogger roachz said...

Thanks for doing this.

7:05 AM  
Blogger alix said...

i've just got one thing to say:

meeeYOW, MuthaFucka! ;)

8:22 AM  
Blogger retarius said...

oh my god. someone told me this was here, so i came here and i am floored. first deryke and now deek.

seriously, thank you so much, i can't tell you what it means to me. i am floored.

i will write again in a few months, i promise. i will write under a different name, either Luke Warm or Arthur Decko.

thanks for this, really. wow.

1:19 PM  
Blogger Deek Deekster said...

retarius, i have a shit headache right now but my smile is wide

you can have this domain back anytime

1:58 PM  
Blogger deryke said...

this is creepy.

4:10 PM  
Blogger transience said...

deek, you are a darling. and retarius, i still miss you (and you should know that by now). hope you write again soon. and even if you don't, expect more nutty behavior from your fans. that's all.

5:24 PM  
Blogger alix said...

deek, how completely uncool of me not to thank you.

deryke, you started it! ;o)

retarius, how lovely to hear from you! hope all is well, and i have forwarded the fifteenth motion that you are missed. take care... i "heart" retarius. muchly. *mwah*

5:29 PM  
Blogger Lauren said...

Deek, if I was a hat wearing kinda gal, I would doff it to you. xxo

7:33 PM  
Blogger Indeterminacy said...

Transcience said "expect more nutty behavior from your fans":

Since no one has yet showed up with the archive covering the first two weeks of April, we must assume this was permanently lost. I propose we at least try to reconstruct a list of the missing posts. My two favorites were:

1) The list of ten things about me
2) The story about the hit girl (w/ the classic fortune cookie metaphor)
3) The penis dipping

2:27 AM  
Blogger BeckyBumbleFuck said...

Solid work.
I was missing "retarius words" too.

6:02 PM  
Blogger Blog ho said...

Deek, this act of .. well, art and rescue and kindness is golden. Well done--I am impressed and humbled by it.

Retarius--yes, I hope things shape up for you. I enjoyed reading your stuff and I miss not reading your stuff. An interesting perspective is a sad thing to lose.

It is also a testiment. testament. testement to how many people still check on a site that's 404 long after it's 404.

7:19 PM  
Blogger mcgibfried said...

i too wondered where you went off to.. i shall await a sign from above to indicate your return~

9:28 PM  
Blogger Memphis Steve said...

I've been looking and looking, trying to figure out why my link to his page wasn't working. Where is The Man? I guess if Chapelle can have a meltdown then Retarius can take a break, but why delete it? This I don't understand.

And I agree with Alix, Meow Muthafucka, indeed. I'm going to have to put that on a t-shirt.

11:50 AM  
Blogger Dotty said...


You've been off the scene for about two weeks, and still people are requesting your return. Blogsphere isn't fickle. I also wondered why the link wasn't working, and was gutted when I had to delete it. I'm hoping I can restore it.

Bet you didn't think your blog would ever turn into your fan club chat room.

7:33 AM  
Blogger LiVEwiRe said...

This was such a wonderful thing to find when checking back (with highest of hopes) on the link. Deek and Inde really helped with the adjustment to 'life sans retarius'. I would hope that should the urge to blog (or write in general) hit, I'd somehow find about it. I really miss the thoughts and ideas that rolled off of these pages. My best.

5:27 PM  
Blogger Jugular Bean said...

Yeah, I was wondering...where the FUCK is RETARIUS? is he ok?

9:17 PM  
Blogger An Extraordinary woman in a mediocre life said...

we want retarius back!!

1:37 AM  
Blogger retarius said...

12:36 AM  
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3:07 AM  
Blogger W said...

Nice blog, congratulations.

6:06 PM  
Blogger alix said...

i STILL miss retarius.

6:27 PM  
Blogger Deek Deekster said...

me too

4:56 AM  
Blogger 妝狂 said...


1:15 AM  
Blogger chat said...

上班很累,摸個魚輕輕鬆鬆的逛部落 ........................................

2:36 PM  
Blogger book said...

喜歡看大家的文章,祝你順心~^^ ........................................

2:38 PM  
Blogger 曉豪 said...


9:58 PM  

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