Wednesday, April 20, 2005

zombies are the worst drivers, worse than floridians

you should never start off a sentance with "now, i'm not gay or anything, but...." because that is a total conversation killer. not much good can come after those words.

also, you can get away with almost anything if you start a sentance with "with all due respect...."

with all due respect, that is the stupidest thing i have ever heard and i hope you die in a threshing accident.

see, like that..

you can also get away with almost anything if you hold up both hands at chest level, palms out, like you are doing a push up against a wall and tack on "i'm just sayin...."

god, it's amazing what one extra chromosone can do, why didn't you die at birth, you suck. i'm just sayin....

if you combine them both, you are nearly untouchable....

well jim, with all due respect, that idea is the stupidest thing i've ever heard and makes me wonder if you should just commit suicide and make us all happier for not having to deal with you every day, you fucking loser. and i'm having sex with your daughter. i'm just sayin...

have you ever looked at a wall, or the carpet, or a group of trees or whatever, and relaxed and unfocused your eyes like you do when you look at one of those "magic eye" pictures (where you stare at it and see a 3-d picture), and seen a face? you look at a cieling and the shadows and marks make a face? it's happened to me a few times, not so much anymore, but i got to thinking, what if that is actually a spirit or something, perhpas a "fingerprint" of a soul that is no longer here, maybe evidence of another world or plane of existence? what if what we see as a face and take as an optical illusion really is a face and is watching us, or allowing us to see it?

so i will do another audio post shortly, if nothing else because i want to try and speak at a normal human speed and not like some idiot on speed, and i have some ideas and it's fun and i'm too lazy to type. also i secretly hope deryke leaves another audio comment....did you all hear deryke's audio comment on my audio post? now THAT guy has a cool voice and is funny.

i'm not gay or anything, but deryke is so honestly talented and cool, i would totally suck his dick or let him fuck me. i'm just sayin....


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