Sunday, February 06, 2005


hey, how's it going? you look good today, but then again, you always look good. no, really, i mean it. i know to you it's just "this old thing" but you seem to shine through whatever you wear, you always look like a model to me. whether it's formal wear or jeans and a shirt, you wear your clothes like the sun wears light. face it, it's just you, you are beautiful.

i've been thinking about telling you this, i'm not sure, i don't want to ruin what we have, but i have to tell you, just so you know. you probably know i am attracted to you, with all my playful flirting and all that, but it's not all just playful. i want, this is so funny, here we are, adults, able to talk about whatever, but it seems that whatever words i choose don't fit. i think we should fuck. there, i said it. blunt, to the point, Hemmingway would be proud. but it means more to me than just that, i just couldn't figure out how to say it. i want to say "i think we should have sex," but that sounds so clinical, and i want to say "i want to do you," but that sounds so high school jock-ish. but really, i want to spend time with you, alone, naked, being intimate, inside you, two bodies as one.

yes yes yes, i know you have a boyfriend. so what? look, i am not asking you to fall in love with me and pledge your heart to me and leave him. he is a great guy and can give you what you need, and you are so good together, and he makes you happy, which i love. i love to see you smile. i’m not trying to take you away from him, i just want to spend one day with you. and i am not asking you to cheat on him. you cheat with your mind and heart, not your body. think of it this way...when you masturbate with a vibrator or dildo, are you cheating on him with those things? no, they are merely spices in the soup, adding extra flavor. so, treat me like a huge, living, warm, talking sex toy. use me for your pleasure. yes, i know for women it's different, sex is close and there is a giving involved, and quite frankly there is for me to. i know i appear cavalier about it all, but i just don't go around having sex with anyone, much as i want to. first of, yes, i am a loser when it comes to that, but also, a small piece of me does get involved, and i leave a bit of me, there is a small connection made, so i don't just go around scattering pieces of myself to the four winds, like you would a vampire after you stake him so he doesn't come back.
so yes, i understand that it might be more intense for you, but i would not take that for granted. and i know you have thought about it, if only for a nano second. you had to, you are female and i am male and we are both humans. we size each other up every day, as soon as we first meet. i have no idea what you assess me as, but you know me enough to trust me, and i am sure if we spent a day together i would answer whatever questions you had, truthfully and without hesitation or regret.

it's just that, you are so appealing and attractive. you are smart, beautiful, sexy as hell, and i can't help but wonder what it would be like to be with you. i can only imagine how it would be to lie next to you, kiss your neck and smell your skin, feel your nipple grow hard in my mouth, hear your soft moan of delight, or maybe a laugh when i tickle you. i want to run my hands all over you, your curves, your mountains and valleys, like an suv offroading and exploring. i want to run my fingers right along the outside of your lips, just to moisten them, like dipping them into the holy water font at church, just so i can taste you on my fingertips. i want to lick you, dipping my tongue into you as deep as it can go, making your legs come up into the air. i want to take you from behind, kissing your back and neck and ears as you push your butt against me with each thrust, you fucking me from in front as much as i am fucking you from behind. i want to look in your eyes when you come, and hold you close to me when we are done. i'll show you my tattoos.

maybe i do have more than just a physical interest in you, and maybe i do want just a small piece of you to keep with me wherever i go. can you fault me for that?
so anyway, i hope i didn't ruin what we had because i want more and made it known. please don't take this as some kind of ultimatum or challenge or something. i just want you to know how i feel. maybe you wondered, maybe you didn't' care, but either way, i am baring myself to you now so you never have to wonder. unless the uncertainty was the magic, and now that is gone, which would just be another page in my book of romantic failures.
hey i’m hungry, wanna get lunch?

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