Friday, February 04, 2005

obscene apostrophes

things are not as random as they might appear. let me explain.

ancient civilizations were not so much ruled as overseen by a group of scientists, philosophers, and artists, both men and women, who used their minds and hearts to govern and allow and encourage the civilization to flourish. under their guidance they formed militaries, schools, ways of worship, etc, and as their knowledge grew, so did their technology. in fact, their technology was so far advanced that there is no longer a trace of it. it was ergonomic, environmental, natural, perfectly in synch with the planet. our chemicals and silicon chips are crude by their standards. at one point they had devised an intricate system of levers and pulleys, made of purely biodegradable natural products, which acted like an ancient version of the internet, allowing civilizations the opportunity to share information crucial to survival and furthering mankind. this is why there are pyramids in both south america and the middle east. there were more, but they have eroded and are long gone, leaving no trace, like a granola loving hiker. the pyramids were, of course, ancient "airports" complete with shops and overnight accommodations for travelers with layovers, and not, as believed, tombs or some such nonsense.

people have been morons since the dawn of time, so the ancient ones decided to explore and colonize other planets, knowing they would most likely not be back, similar to the cool people having a great club and moving to a different club when the posers move in because it's trendy and they ruin a good thing. they left the less intelligent in charge, knowing things would go to pot once they left. but, being the benevolent beings that they were, they didn't want to leave things too bad for those who would be above the rest but forced to endure the dimwittedness of those in charge. knowing that people are naturally curious and are also easily bored as well as easily amused, they decided to orchestrate built in entertainment for following generations, kind of a consolation gift. using long lost, unfathomably complex ancient technology, they managed to rig things so we end up creating our own puzzles, to keep us occupied when we get bored. it goes like this.....

no doubt you've been somewhere, a house or hotel room or some building, where there is a switch or button or pull chain that is unmarked and doesn't seem to do anything. what do you do? you keep toggling the switch, pressing the button, pulling the chain, waiting, trying to see what the hell will happen. nothing.

no doubt you have seen a dog or cat laying down...they suddenly get up, walk across the room, then lay down again three feet from where they were. you wonder, do they think "hey, i wanna lay down over there, that would be SWEET!" or do they get up to do something and then all of a sudden think "gee, i think i will lay down." you have also seen a door open that you could have swore was closed, or a window. there are lots of little weird things that seem random or inexplicable....

Well.....those buttons are linked to things around the world. a button in denmark controls a dog in argentina. a switch in ontario opens a cabinet door in madagascar. so, on one end, someone is entertained by the seemingly useless light switch that doesn't do anything, while at the same time, causing a "random" act halfway around the world, which keeps someone else puzzled, occupied, entertained, what have you.

so next time a light is on in a room that you could have sworn you turned off, or vice versa, just realize that someone in a hotel in india was bored. and mindlessly flipping an unmarked switch.

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